Invisible
by eyelinerprincess
Summary: The second of my Ryan monologues. Based on the D-Side song Invisible. Ryan's been asked to write an essay entitled "If I Had One Wish", but sometimes wishes come true without you knowing it.


_Well kiddies, it's the second in my series of Ryan monologues. I have a few planned in the near future. They're all loosely (or sometimes not so loosely) based on songs, so hopefully I'll broaden your musical horizons as well as writing some (hopefully) interesting and compelling fiction._

_Anyway, that's enough from me, without further ado, I present Invisible._

_

* * *

_

Dear Kelsi,

"If you could have one wish, what would it be and why?" That was the essay question set out to us in English today. And I thought long and hard about it. About how easy it would be to ask for a million dollars. With that money I could open up a drama school, with Sharpay as the drama teacher, me as the choreographer, and you, dear Kelsi, as the musician.

Or I could ask for an acceptance to Julliard. I've always dreamed of going there, but I guess I have no chance. Not when you, Sharpay and Troy are headed towards the same goal. The three of you are ultimately more talented than I am, and against you, I don't have a chance.

I could ask for something almost completely selfless, like world peace or an end to all human suffering, but in the end, my wish is completely selfish.

I could ask for fame, for recognition of my choreography and dance talents. To walk down the streets of New York and be recognised instantly. To sign a million autographs and have people tell me how much they love me, and how much I changed their lives. Even have people have me as an inspiration, someone who inspired them to start dancing. Be a legend, one who will be talked about for hundreds of years to come. The new Fosse! Yeah, that would be pretty amazing.

What else could I wish for? Infinite wishes? Of course, that would be cheating, but then I could wish for the rules to be changed, so that it wouldn't be deemed as cheating.

A supermodel hanging from my arm? That could be fun for a while, but then I'd have to deal with the jealousy of everyone else wanting her too, and I don't think I could deal with that. Plus knowing my luck she'd be one of those people who look great, but don't have a great deal to say. She could be a gorgeous female version of Jason for all I know, and I don't think I could put up with that level of dumbness 24/7.

I could even have wished to come out of my sister's shadow. I did have a taste of that during the summer, remember? She abandoned me to work on her little skit with Troy and I really felt as if I was my own person, and not Sharpay's extra limb, something to which she really couldn't do without. In fact, I think my twin and I are known as one entity. RyanandSharpay. And I'm just half of that, half of a whole person. I wouldn't really want to get rid of my sister altogether. I mean, sometimes she is useful. She always gets her own way, which means in some ways, I get my own way too. She means we have something to talk about in those awkward moments when we're alone together. And she does have some good ideas sometimes.

It was really a close call to decide what my one wish would be. Selfless or selfish? Change the world or change myself? In the end, I decided, and that's why I'm writing this letter to you. Of course, you probably will never read it, I'll end up throwing it in the bin, or burning it, or hiding it in my diary where no one else will ever see it. Especially not Sharpay. She'd blab to the whole school about it.

My one wish, my only wish at this particular moment, is to become invisible. Sound sad yet? Well, just listen to my reasons. If I were invisible, I'd be able to learn more about you. I'd watch you, from afar without being caught. Not in a stalkerish way, just so that I'd be able to walk up to you and strike up a conversation without you becoming bored or walking away from me. I'd make you fall in love with me by becoming your perfect man. I'd even change myself for you. Don't like my hair? I'll cut it. Don't like my clothes? I'll change them for you. Anything to make you see how perfect I am for you, and how bad your new boyfriend is for you. How I'd never harm you like he does. You don't think we see the bruises, but we do. We don't believe all your excuses either. If I were invisible, I'd save you from him. But in a way, I guess I got my wish. Because I keep saying "if I were invisible", but to you, the person that matters to me the most, I already am.

Love Ryan.


End file.
